Conversation Escalation Review by Bobby Rio
Conversation Escalation Review – How to Create a Flirtatious Vibe
I think we’ve all found ourselves in a situation where you’re chatting a group of girls in a bar or club and things seem to be going okay. Then along comes that guy. The guy who just seems to stroll in uninvited and before you know it, he’s got all the girls laughing and hanging on every word he says. He’s just a regular guy, but because he’s stolen your spotlight, he becomes your worst enemy.
I grew to despise that guy. Who the hell does he think he is? I was here first. Then I started to realize – he’s not the problem, I am. In any other situation, I’d probably get along with him just fine. The truth is I was envious of him. I wanted to be the guy who gets the girls attention. Realizing this, I knew I had to change the way I do things. I wanted to find out what it is that makes a guy instantly attractive to woman.
The girl I wanted but didn’t know how to talk to
My situation at the time was one that I’m sure most of you can relate to. I’m not going to use the actual names of the people involved – I just don’t think that would be right.
There was this girl at work, I’m going to call her Jane. She’s everything I always wanted in a girl. Beautiful, intelligent and really easy going. I thought that she was out of my league, but I couldn’t stop hoping that maybe I stood a chance with her.
Now there’s this guy at the office, I’m going to call John. He’s THAT GUY. The type of guy I mentioned earlier – always knows just what to say and do. If I managed to get some sort of conversation going with Jane, he would rock up and I would simply give up. How could I possibly compete with John? He’s a natural and I’m… Well… Just plain old me.
I became determined to find the secret. I wanted to know what John had that made him the cool guy.
I decided to do something about it
I started going to the gym regularly and worked on my appearance. I began to look at how I dressed and took an an interest in fashion. Once I developed some confidence about how I looked, I thought I’d begin to make some progress. This wasn’t the case.
One day I was looking at John with all the girls wrapped around his finger. I thought “he’s not even that good looking – what is his secret?”
What did he know that i didn’t?
I began to obsess over John – not in a creepy way. I just needed to know his secret, but I just couldn’t figure it out.
So I decided to search online for the answer. Boy, did this open up a can of worms. There’s so much advice out there, it seems that everyone’s an expert.
I just didn’t know which of the “miracle tips” to follow. A lot of sites seem to suggest that women want a man who’s sensitive, “in touch with his emotions”. They say women want a man who understands them on an emotional level. So I thought I’d give this a try.
I studied up on women’s magazines, chick flicks, you name it. I wanted to understand what women needed emotionally. This seemed to be the answer. Knowing what girls wanted emotionally, helped open some conversational doors for me. Best of all I was able to keep Jane’s attention for longer than I had been able to before. I was feeling really good about this.
But just when I was starting to believe
Then came the bomb shell. John and Jane started dating. It became the hottest gossip of the office. Everyone seemed so excited by this. That is everyone but me. I was crushed. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere, this had to happen. I figured it was time to give up.
A couple of months later John and Jane broke up. Now I had a second chance. I was going to give it my all – and this time I was not going to lose out.
I made my move
I took every opportunity I could to console Jane’s heartbreak. I was the guy she could open up to. The guy she could share her emotions with. While I ended up spending a lot more time with Jane, the results were the opposite of what I’d hoped for.
I woke up to this fact one evening over dinner with Jane. To me it was a date. To her it was dinner with an understanding friend. She said to me: “You’re not like all the other guys”, my heart started to race. Yes! This is what I had been waiting for. Then I heard the rest. “I can really talk to you”, she said “and best of all, I can be myself with you. I can relax with you because I know you’re not just trying to get me into bed. You’re a really good friend. Thanks for being there for me.”
The friend zone
This was when I realized that I had got myself so deeply into the friend zone that there was no getting out of it. I was crushed. This was it – time to give up the fantasy. It really affected my confidence on every level. I fell into a slump that seemed to take over my life.
Then one night, surfing the web, I stumbled upon the advice I had needed all along. The answers were always there. I just needed someone to open my eyes.
The first thing I came to see is that the timeless words of that old song is an undeniable truth about women: “Girls just wanna have fun”. It doesn’t seem like such a big revelation until you learn how to put it into practice. By following a few basic steps I learnt how to break the ice and keep the conversation going with lighthearted humor.
The second big lesson was that girls want to feel emotion. The trick is not to get girls just to talk about their emotions, but to make feel emotion. Happiness, sadness, loneliness – these are all things that girls thrive on. Learning how to engage a woman so that you arouse her emotions, is an important key to open her up to you.
I became good at steering the conversation.
I became a master of subtle flirtation. I started becoming “that guy” and I was loving it. While all this was great at meeting new woman and building my self esteem. I was still in the friend zone with Jane. I had not yet overcome my greatest challenge.
For a while I’d kept my distance from her, devastated by my failure to win her affection. But as my confidence grew, having learnt some valuable lessons on conversations with women, I was ready to start over.
At first it didn’t seem to go that well. “You’ve changed” she said.
I certainly had changed – this was the new improved me.
Because I was now more confident and knew how to approach her. I started to win her over. Our conversations were less about her love life problems and more about just having fun. It didn’t take long and I was no longer the guy she turned to when she needed a sympathetic ear. I became the guy who made her laugh, made her feel good about herself. Made her feel sexy and desirable.
Jane started to see me as a man, maybe more than just a friend. When other guys would come around working their charm, I was able to keep my cool. I knew what I was doing. It felt really great. The more I engaged Jane in easy fun conversation, the more she took notice of me. I didn’t have to try anymore, it was just coming naturally.
And now for the best part of it all. This Friday we’re going on a date. Not a friend date. A real date! I did it – I managed to dig myself out of the friend zone. It’s most amazing feeling in the world.
So do you want to know how I did it?
I discovered Conversation Escalation: Make Small Talk Sexy – a video guide by Bobby Rio. It gives really good simple advice about how to engage women in conversation from an expert. Once I followed his guidance and tried it out for myself, it seemed like common sense. I wondered why it took me so long to figure it out. Had it not been for that guidance, I would still be searching for those answers.